A mother was left stunned when her 46-year-old husband was diagnosed with dementia having initially suspecting his sudden change in behaviour was due to excessive drinking.
Louise Cronin, 46, has been with her husband Jason since they were teenagers, and described him as her “soulmate” who is known for his sense of humour and kindness. However, she suddenly witnessed a drastic transformation in his personality and behaviour, leaving him a “shell of the man” he once was.
As they approach the one-year anniversary of Jason’s early onset dementia diagnosis, Louise is now raising awareness about the unexpected and “not straight forward” signs that led up to it.
The couple, who have two children, Shane, 27, and Scott, 17, had always been active, with Jason working as a rigger and taking the children to football training and games. However, his sudden decline has made it “even harder” for Louise given how involved he once was.
Speaking to BristolLive, Louise recalled the symptoms she noticed in Jason, saying: “He became very distant, very withdrawn, he was coming from work and going straight to sleep, something he would never do. I won’t lie, it caused arguments between us, because Jason pulled back, he wasn’t the same kind, loving person he always was. He stopped playing ball with the boys and he just seemed very distant.”
Louise’s experience highlights the importance of recognising the early signs of dementia, which can be subtle and easily misattributed to other factors. Over a year ago, she observed changes in Jason’s speech that left her bewildered, explaining: “Then I noticed Jason’s speech was after changing and I couldn’t understand what he was saying and this went on for a while. And I will be honest, I thought he was drinking too much, and that was what was affecting his speech, because the way the speech was, it was like he was drunk 24/7.”
Dementia UK advises that among early signs of dementia in younger individuals may be shifts in personality and a loss of interest in activities they previously enjoyed.
In seeking answers, Louise, from Cork, Ireland, urged Jason to visit a GP who, concerned about potential brain damage, recommended seeing a neurosurgeon after a 40-minute check-up.
The wait for a referral stretched to 18 months, but facing an urgent situation with Jason, only 46 at the time, Louise chose to try private care. Despite an initial six-month waiting period, her plea over the phone that something was “drastically wrong” led to an earlier appointment thanks to a cancellation the following week.
However, during their second consultation, Louise felt her world collapse. While waiting outside as Jason underwent cognitive tests, she expected news of a stroke explaining his impaired speech.
She recalls her apprehension: “I am still none the wiser, then he called me, and now I was fully convinced hand on my heart that they were going to tell me Jason had a stroke, and that is what affected his speech… grand, I can handle that.
“He just looked at me and said ‘it’s not great news’ and I looked at Jason and he was sat there and he was playing with the car keys and I said, ‘Yeah I know, stroke’.”
However, upon learning that Jason had been diagnosed with dementia, she recalled: “All that came out of mouth was, ‘He has f***ing what? He is 46 years of age, how in the name of god could he have dementia?’ Jason had frontotemporal dementia and I just broke down, hysterical.”
She was also informed that Jason was suffering from apraxia, affecting his speech. She noted that the devastating news “didn’t even register” with her husband, who showed no reaction.
The daunting task of breaking the news to Jason’s parents fell on Louise, followed by the even more challenging task of telling their sons the next day – an experience she described as the most difficult thing she’s ever had to do.
During a subsequent meeting with a consultant, she said: “They say you wish the world opened up and swallowed you and I really wish it did that day… because my life has never been the same since. My beautiful handsome strong husband is a shell of the man… a shell of the man.”
Jason’s condition has deteriorated rapidly, and he is now under the “exceptional care” of a medical team comprising a neurologist, a speech therapist, a physiotherapist and a dietician.
Sadly, Jason has lost his ability to speak, and Louise strives to keep him as active as possible to stimulate his mind and prevent total memory loss. Currently, his long-term memory is reportedly good, but dealing with the present proves challenging.
Louise has found herself in the tough position of having to constantly remind her husband that he can’t drive anymore. Speaking about the ordeal, she shared: “It is heartbreaking… heartbreaking. The dementia has progressed that bit more, simple things like I have to tell Jason go and have a shower, brush your teeth, those kind of things I wouldn’t have had to say to my husband before. There is no speech, only one words.”
Jason’s health woes are concerning, with his weight dropping due to a lack of appetite or possibly weakening neck muscles that make eating difficult.
However, Louise finds joy in their time together: “I have great fun with Jason, we sing, I have all the music, he is a great lover of the Wolfe Tones, I have that on for him, because communication is not there, we communicate through music and when the music is on Jason is happy, smiling, and he is walking around the house and he is happy out.”
She also takes a moment to praise her sons’ support: “My boys are fantastic and they are brilliant with their dad. My youngest loves tickling Jason and they have a great giggle.”
Despite these touching family moments, Jason is increasingly becoming isolated from the world beyond his home since his diagnosis came to light.
Louise notes: “Jason is very into himself now, he doesn’t mix with anybody. If somebody calls he gets very scared and frightened. He tends to stay in the sitting room and doesn’t mix which is ok too. His friends understand and myself and the boys understand and we leave him to it.”
She added: “Going forward, I don’t know. Hand on heart, I don’t know what the future holds. I really really don’t. But I will take each day as it comes, we get up, we have fun, we do what we can.”
The Cronin family’s friends and loved ones launched a GoFundMe to help them create lasting memories and ensure they enjoy life to the fullest.
Over the past year, they’ve tried to do just that, but it’s become tougher since Jason began preferring the comforts of home to going out.
The fundraising effort, which has already topped £8,000, is now being channelled into making home modifications. Louise explained the rationale: “It is so I can keep Jason at home, that we can keep making memories, and that he will be in our lives that little bit longer.”
Louise shared her ambitions to spread awareness, urging others: “If this helps one family that are out there at the moment, and their partner, their son, their daughter have become withdrawn, they are not interacting, they seem different, go get tested, get tested. It is younger people are getting, it is a lot younger, they are being diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, dementia, so I want to make awareness.”
Her poignant final words were charged with emotion: “What kills me… what kills me… what is the hardest thing in all of this, is we met when we were very young.
“We raised two wonderful boys together, our lives were about our boys, and now it should be our turn. We should be living our lives now, our boys are reared, we should be going on holidays, weekends away, that’s the hard part… that was taken from us, at such a young age.”
You can make a donation to Jason’s GoFundMe page here
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