Dear Coleen,
I am a woman in my twenties who has recently started dating someone. While he is attractive and intriguing, his high level of enthusiasm is somewhat off-putting for me. I am not accustomed to such intense attention, especially at the early stages of a relationship.
In the past, the men I dated were quite the opposite, leaving me uncertain about their level of interest in me. With this new person, we have already spent a weekend together, I have met his colleagues, parents, sister, and even his dog, and he is constantly in touch via text messages.
I am torn between thinking I might be overanalyzing the situation or being unappreciative of his efforts. Although my friends have a positive opinion of him based on brief encounters, I am conflicted. I am considering suggesting a more relaxed approach to our relationship to have some personal space and time to evaluate my feelings. I am hesitant to hurt him, as there is a possibility that he could be the right match for me. Should I view this as a warning sign or be more receptive to the romantic gestures?
Coleen advises that the intensity you are feeling could be due to the condensed timeline of your relationship. Instead of ending things abruptly, communicate your feelings openly and observe his reaction. If he responds maturely by giving you space, it indicates a healthy dynamic. You should express that while you enjoy his company, the pace is rapid for you, and you require time for yourself and other aspects of your life. Emphasize that you are navigating this new level of enthusiasm and need time to adjust.
If you genuinely like him and envision a future together, do not hesitate to share your emotions. Establish a foundation of honesty and openness from the start. Additionally, maintaining a degree of longing and flirtation in the relationship is essential. Avoid taking each other for granted and strive to keep the spark alive.
Regarding your past relationships, perhaps the lack of commitment from previous partners raises more concerns than a man who is clearly invested in you and seeks a serious commitment. If you feel overwhelmed, consider spacing out activities and slowing down the pace; it does not have to be an all-or-nothing situation.
She brought her candid opinions to Loose Women and is now Britain’s straightforward agony aunt, offering guidance on relationship, sex, and life dilemmas.
EMAIL: dearcoleen@mirror.co.uk – unfortunately, Coleen cannot respond individually
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